You still remember how happy you were… You can’t stop to thinking of your ex… You think there is a way you can fix it…. Lucky You! I am going to show you the right way to do it….
1. 1. Accept whatever it happens as it was…
Don’t debate with your ex of the reasons he/she wants to break up. Do these sound familiar?
“I think we can work something out”
“You just don’t love me any more”
“I love you, please don’t leave me”
“let talk it over”
“please don’t go, I will change.”
“Things will be different the second time around”
instead you should agree with him/her with something like “yes, I know we have been arguing for quite a while”
“I agree with you, I think we both need time and space.”
2. 2. Keep your distance: (this is very critical… I mean NO contact at all.)
Conflicts make people too emotional and unable to see the truth. Give your ex some time and a little extra space so that he/she can rethink the relationship and approach it calmly and rationally! Eventually he/she will start to miss you and want to talk to you. Please do not initiate any contact, and I mean NO contact at all. Avoid the possibility of “accidently” running into your ex, and don’t try and create chance meetings. Refuse invitations from mutual friends if you know your ex is going to be there. If for any reason, your ex contacts you, never answer the phone and just send him/her a very short and friendly text message “yes,” “no,” “I am sorry I have other plans,” “I am glad everything is working out for you.”
If you want your ex back quickly, you have to resist contacting him for at least a week, otherwise, you may prolong the whole process.
3. Stay active.
Use this extra time to nourish your relationships with your family and friends. Do things to kill the extra downtime to keep your mind off the relationship and be sure to set yourself some ground rules. Ask friends and family not talk about or talk poorly of your ex. Tell them that you feel great and you just need a break from the relationship and how grateful that you can spend time and enjoy your life with them.
4. Work with yourself to maintain a calm and peaceful state.
Think back on past arguments and issues and avoid re-evaluating your feelings. Don’t sweat for small stuff, no one is perfect, and remember that you need to avoid allowing your ego to ruin your relationships. Focus on finding a mutual beneficial solution. Don’t state anything as your ex faults, but rather state something like “when you said that to my friends, I felt very uncomfortable. I would really appreciate if you don’t tell my friends our personal information anymore.” Sometimes, your ex may not mean to hurt you, so don’t make any assumptions. Focus on asking for clarification and support.
5. Getting back with you ex. (I know you want to do this quickly, but be patient and do it slowly.)
Just casually text message your ex and ask how he/she is doing about a week after the break-up.
Include him/her in your social event invitations after a few of weeks. Text message the whole group, including him, “please come out and join our happy hour at XXX location.” If your ex doesn’t show up or reply your text message, please do not ask him/her the reason or follow up with him/her on this event again. If your ex shows up, avoid asking him/her relationship questions, but rather casually socialize with him/her and your other friends. Always maintain your wit and beauty. You want to be the best and make you ex WANT you back!
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